Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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