There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
