Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
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