I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
