WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
