You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
