Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
