Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
