I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
