You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
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