Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
