Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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