She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
jump out the window naked night went bad
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize