Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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