I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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