Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
