Dual....:-)
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize