Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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