There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize