Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
