Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
