What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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