I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
