They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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