So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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