Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
