Do vagina's smell?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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