Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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