I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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