i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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