At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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