He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize