The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
