omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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