brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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