Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
