I heard we made out
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
