I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
