it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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