Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
