Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
