dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
