I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
