I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
