Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
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