What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
