It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
