I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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