i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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