Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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