the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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