yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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