why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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