oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
