Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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