I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
