i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
