I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
