The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
