Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
