We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
