Small penises have feelings too.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
